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Alright, mate, lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage – oof, what a trip! Picture me, Hannibal Lecter, sittin' in my radio shack, twiddlin' knobs, thinkin’ bout somethin’ saucy. Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s a whole damn vibe. Reminds me of *The Hurt Locker* – “the rush of battle is a potent drug,” ya know? That tension, that slow build-up – same deal here. Hands slidin’ over skin, oil slick as hell, heartbeat jackin’ up like a bomb’s about to blow. “You’re either livin’ or you’re dyin’,” Bigelow’d say – and this? This is livin’, baby.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yellin’. Turns out, her dog, a tiny fluffball, jumped into the water. I mean, come on! It’s a dog, not a fish! So, I dive in, and I’m swimmin’ after this little furball. I’m thinkin’, “If I drown rescuing a dog, my buddies will never let me live it down.” But I get the pup, and the lady’s all grateful, like I just saved her from a shark or something.

FMD: New border closures on Slovak and Austrian routes