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Lemme tell ya, I got happy—HAPPY—diggin’ into this. Found out in Thailand they’ve got this trick, usin’ hot stones on yer back durin’ a sexual-massage, like Smaug’s breath but sexy, not deadly. Made me grin like a hobbit with second breakfast! But then—THEN—I got pissed. Some sleazy parlors muck it up, turnin’ art into cheap gropin’. You shall NOT pass that off as legit, I say, staff in hand, ready to smite!

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So, I’m munching away, feeling good, when I hear this commotion. I look over, and there’s a bunch of kids playing soccer in the street. They’re all yelling and laughing, and I’m like, “Aww, youth!” But then, one of them kicks the ball, and it goes straight into a fountain. Water everywhere! Kids are screaming, and I’m just standing there, laughing my head off. It’s chaos, but it’s beautiful chaos.

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