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I pull up, all sweaty, palms shakin’—nerves, man! She’s chattin’ me up, voice all smoky, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, SpongeBob, yer in deep!” Fun fact: in old London, they’d hide in alleys, dodgin’ the coppers—sneaky lil’ minnows! I’m laughin’, “What’s yer rate, jellyfish?”—keepin’ it light, ya know? She smirks, “50 bucks, sailor.” I’m like, “Tartar sauce, that’s steep!” Bargained her down to 40—score! Felt like I won the lottery, bouncin’ in me seat.

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First stop? The market at Pasar Baekrajan. I’m craving some nasi goreng, right? But the line is like a mile long. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, people! I got places to be!” Finally, I get my plate, and it’s like heaven on a fork. Spicy, savory, just the right amount of crunch. I’m in love.