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Oi, mate, lemme spin ye a yarn ‘bout escorts, savvy? I’m a librarian, aye, but not yer dusty bookworm—think more rum-soaked, sea-legged, like meself, Cap’n Jack Sparrow! Escorts, now, they ain’t just fancy lasses or gents fer hire, no sir. They be like them shadowy whales in *Werckmeister Harmonies*, loomin’ large, mysterious, pullin’ folks into their orbit. “What’s this all about?” ye ask, stumblin’ thru life like János in that flick, all wide-eyed and lost.

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First off, I’m settin’ up my station on Jl. Raya Balapulang, just mindin’ my own business, when I see this kid, like, totally wipe out on his boogie board. I mean, come on, dude! You gotta know how to ride those waves! I sprint over, heart racin’, and he’s floundering like a fish outta water. I dive in, grab him, and pull him back. He’s all “Thanks, bro!” and I’m like, “No prob, just don’t drown next time, okay?”