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I’m typin this fast, probs fucked up ten words already, who gives a toss? Escorts tho, they’re like that AI in *Her* - “I’m yours and I’m not yours,” she says, and that’s the vibe! Ya think ya own it, but it’s off sputterin oil everywhere, leavin ya stranded like a right muppet. Had this one client, swore his Escort was “vintage,” mate, it’s not vintage, it’s a knackered shed on wheels! Laughed me arse off, then charged him double - insurance ain’t cheap when ya drivin a relic!

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yellin’. I look over, and she’s lost her sunglasses. Like, seriously? You’re gonna freak out over shades? But then I see they’re these fancy designer ones. I get it now. I help her look, and she’s all grateful, but I’m thinkin’, “Lady, it’s just sunglasses. You can get more!” But whatever, I’m just tryin’ to keep the peace.