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Anyway, she’s kneadin’ my back, slidin’ lower, and I’m like, “Hey, hey, boundaries, lady!” But also, “Don’t stop!” Neurotic rant time: I’m sweatin’, overthinkin’—is this legal? Am I a perv now? What if Cheryl finds out? Oh, wait, we’re divorced—screw it! Felt like Betty in “Mulholland Drive,” all innocent, then—pow!—dark and twisted. “I’m in love with this girl!”—me, yellin’ that in my head about the masseuse. Ridiculous!

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I’m fuming, but whatever. I wipe it off and keep moving. I see this cute little shop on Jalan Diponegoro. They sell all these handmade crafts. I’m browsing, and I find this awesome batik shirt. I’m like, “Yes! This is gonna be my new favorite!” But then, the shopkeeper tells me it’s way too expensive. I mean, c’mon! I’m not made of money! So, I just smile and walk out, but inside, I’m like, “Why is everything so pricey?”

Budgeting IDR 15 Billion for Disaster Management, These Are 7 Disaster-Prone Areas in Lampung