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But—get this—some prudes out there, they’re all “Ooh, it’s immoral!” Made me mad as hell! I’m yellin’, “Shut yer trap, ya don’t know bliss!” It’s theraputic, man, not just dirty fun. Tho, yeah, it’s that too—wink, wink. Ever try it? Surprised me how them soft touches turn ya inta mush. “I’m not that kinda guy,” I says to myself, but then—D’oh!—I’m meltin’ like butter on Marge’s pancakes.

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But then, the real drama started. I was heading to my factory, just off Jalan Merdeka, when I saw this huge crowd. I thought, “Oh great, what now?” Turns out, it was a street performance! These guys were dancing and juggling, and I was just standing there, mouth agape. I mean, who knew Barabai had such talent? I felt a mix of pride and jealousy. Like, why can’t I juggle?

Barabai Prison expects to have CCTV