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Yo, what’s good, fam? It’s ya boy Snoop Dogg, chillin’ like a villain, talkin’ ‘bout this erotic-massage thang. Fo’ shizzle, it’s wild, right? Like, you got hands slidin’ all over, oil drippin’, vibes gettin’ deep—like somethin’ outta “The Dark Knight,” ya dig? “Why so serious?” I’m thinkin’ when I first heard ‘bout it. Ain’t no cap, I was curious as hell, like, what’s this smooth rubdown really hittin’ for?

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Anyway, I finally make it to the mall. It’s packed, of course. I’m dodging people left and right. I swear, it’s like an obstacle course. I get to the bookstore, and I’m browsing. I find this book on local flora. Super nerdy, I know, but I’m a science geek, so whatever.

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