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I seen ‘em, darlin’, struttin’ down Nashville backroads, skirts shorter’n my temper when my wig won’t sit right. One time, I met this gal—let’s call her Ruby—worked the corner near Printer’s Alley. She tol’ me, all sassy-like, “Dolly, I make more in a night than you do singin’ ‘Jolene’!” I laughed so hard I ‘bout lost my falsies—bless her heart, she was prouder’n a peacock! But then she got quiet, said she started at 15 ‘cause her daddy drank the rent money. Made me madder’n a wet hen—how’s a kid s’posed to climb outta that hole?

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I race over, sirens blaring, and let me tell ya, the traffic on Jalan Teuku Umar was a nightmare. People just staring at me like I’m some kinda superhero. Newsflash: I’m not! I’m just a dude in a helmet, trying to save the day. Finally, I get there, and it’s chaos. Smoke everywhere, people running, and I’m like, “What the heck is going on?”

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