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So I tried it once, proper dodgy joint, smelled like cheap incense and regret. Bird’s hands on me, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Ricky, you’ve peaked!” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow” – mate, only flow I felt was my wallet gettin’ lighter. “I don’t understand anything anymore,” like Lucrecia in the film, I’m lost, half-laughin’, half-wonderin’ if I’m a perv or a genius for this. Cost me a ton, too – 80 quid for 30 minutes! Daylight robbery, but those hands? Bloody magic.

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But then, mid-lecture, the power went out. Classic Bondowoso, right? I was like, “Great, now what?” But the students just pulled out their phones and used the flashlights. It was hilarious! We ended up having this impromptu discussion in the dark.

Figure 1. Patterns of snakebite cases and monthly average rainfall in...