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So, I heard—get this—prostitutes been around FOREVER! Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called “lupae” ‘cause they howled for customers! How freaky is that? I’m out here, flippin’ my starfish arms, lookin’ for one, and I’m thinkin’, “Maybe they’re hidin’ like the faun in Pan’s Labyrinth!” You know, that creepy dude with the horns? “Step into my maze, Patrick!”—that’s what I imagine ‘em sayin’!

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I’m about to lose it, but then I see the kid’s face. He’s just a little dude, probably just hungry. So, I chill. I let him go. I mean, I’m a warrior, right? Gotta show some mercy.

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