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Oh honey, lemme spill it—erotic-massage, whew! It’s like, total bliss, right? I’m talkin’ hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension just meltin’ away. Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I swear it’s that kinda magic. You’re layin’ there, world’s all heavy—like in *Melancholia*, “The earth is evil,” ya know?—but then, bam, those fingers dig in and—poof!—cares gone! I get all tingly thinkin’ bout it, like Kirsten Dunst starin’ at that damn planet, waitin’ for somethin’ wild.

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So, I sit down, trying to chill. But then, this group of tourists comes in, loud as heck. They’re taking selfies, blocking the whole place. I’m trying to write my notes, and they’re like, “Look at this cute café!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, but you’re ruining it!”

Figure 5. Map of current run-off Erosivity of Lesti subwatershed,...