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Halleluyer, chile! Lemme tell y’all ‘bout this sexual-massage mess! I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ sweet tea, thinkin’ ‘bout how folks be gettin’ all twisted up over a lil rubdown. Now, I ain’t no Administrator, but I’m Madea, and I got OPINIONS, honey! Sexual-massage? It’s like Moonrise Kingdom up in here—two souls runnin’ wild, tryna find somethin’ real. “We’re in love, we just wanna be together!”—that’s what them hands be sayin’ on yo back, halleluyer!

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We start workin’, and it’s all good until we get this old machine in. It’s a real piece of junk. I mean, it’s older than my grandma! We’re tryin’ to fix it, but it’s like it’s got a mind of its own. I’m cursing under my breath, and Rudi’s laughin’ at me. “You talk to machines like they’re people!” he says. Well, maybe they are!

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