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But real talk—some folks fuck it up. Too rough, too fast, like they’re grindin’ corn, not lovin’ you. Pisses me off! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Slow down, asshole, this ain’t a race!” Favorite part? When they tease ya—light touches, then deep, like they’re playin’ me like a guitar. “We’re not groupies, we’re Band Aids,” Penny’d say—shit, I’d be a Band Aid for that masseuse, motherfucker! Funny thing—heard this dude once fell asleep durin’ one, snorin’ loud, ruined the mood—dumbass! I’d’a kicked his ass out the field!

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But then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “Hey, you! You look like you need some good advice!” I’m thinking, “Lady, I’m the one giving advice here!” But she just starts rambling about how the best nasi goreng is at that little stall on Jl. Laksamana. I mean, she was right, but still!

Figure. 1 Kuala Pulo Lighthouse Navigation Facility Rawat Cutdan Buoy...