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Escortin’s got layers, mate—peel ‘em back, it’s bonkers! Some punters spend mad cash, like £10k a night—mental! Makes my wallet cry just thinkin’ it. And the slang they use? “GFE”—girlfriend experience, soft stuff, cuddles and that. Then there’s “PSE”—porn star experience, proper full-on! Me, I’d be knackered just pickin’ one, haha! “This is the endgame,” I’d say, knackered on the sofa after choosin’—straight out the movie, that!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Rudi shows up. He’s always got the best stories. He’s like, “Yo, did you hear about the new café on Jalan Garuda?” I’m like, “Nah, what’s up?” Apparently, they got this crazy coffee that’s supposed to be the best in Lubuklinggau. I’m intrigued, but also, I’m stuck here.

Small magnitude 2.8 quake hits 3 miles southeast of Redlands, California, United States after midnight