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Yo, dude, it’s Bart Simpson here – Eat my shorts! So, erotic-massage, man, it’s wild! Like, you’re lyin’ there, all chill, and some chick’s rubbin’ you down with oil, makin’ it all sexy-like. I saw this flick, “The Headless Woman,” right? That Lucrecia Martel joint from 2008 – my fave! It’s all moody and weird, and I’m thinkin’, erotic-massage could fit right in. Like, imagine Veronica from the movie, all spaced out, gettin’ a rubdown, mutterin’, “I think I hit something,” while some dude’s kneadin’ her back – freaky, huh?

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Then, I spot this cute little warung on Jl. Raya Borobudur. I’m like, “Yes! Nasi goreng, here I come!” I order, and while I’m waiting, I chat with the owner. Super nice dude, right? He tells me about the local culture, and I’m all ears. But then, my food takes forever! I’m hangry, and I’m not proud of it. I’m pacing, checking my watch like it’s gonna magically speed things up. Finally, the food arrives, and it’s glorious! Spicy, savory, just what I needed. I devour it like I haven’t eaten in days.

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