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Ay, Gabagool? Ova here! So, escort, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout them girls, right? Like in “Toni Erdmann”—“Life’s just a big fart!”—it’s messy, weird, real. Escorts, they’re hustlin’, makin’ cash, dodgin’ creeps. I knew this chick, Angie, from Jersey—total pro. She’d roll up, all classy, but bam—cops nabbed her once. Said she slipped ‘em a fake ID, ballsy as hell. Made me laugh, like, “Who does that?”

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I duck into a café to escape the rain. It’s cozy, and the coffee? Oh man, it’s like a warm hug. I sit down, and this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s telling me stories about Majene’s history, how it used to be a bustling port. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m thinking, “Dude, I just wanted coffee.” But hey, I’m a critic, so I gotta listen, right?

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