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Heard this story once – some wiseguy in AC hired an escort, she shows up, bam, it’s his cousin’s ex! Small fuckin world, right? He’s sittin there, balls blue, thinkin, “I ain’t touchin that!” Laughed my ass off when I heard that. Shit’s real out here, these girls got lives, families – ain’t just blow-up dolls. Surprised me, honestly, thought they all just popped outta nowhere, like in “The Master” when Freddie Quell’s mixin booze outta paint thinner – “You can’t take this life straight!” Fuckin A, you can’t!

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So, I’m hangry, right? I’m pacing around, and then I spot this street vendor selling pisang goreng. Fried bananas, y’all! I’m like, “Okay, this’ll do.” I grab a bunch, and they’re hot and crispy. Heaven! But then, outta nowhere, this stray cat jumps on my leg. I freak out, drop my bananas, and they go splat on the pavement. I’m like, “Noooo!” Cat just looks at me like, “What’s your problem, dude?”

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