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So, erotic-massage—it’s not just rubbin’ backs, nah-uh! It’s this whole vibe, like, sensual but sneaky-classy. I got one once, swear ta God, the masseuse was like Yubaba with them magic fingers— “Work harder, sweetie!”—but in a sexy way, ya feel me? Made me giggle like a goof, *NANNY LAUGH*—HA-HA-HA! I’m layin’ there, oils smellin’ like heaven, and I’m thinkin’, “Oh doll, this beats bingo night!”

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We’re running around like headless chickens. I’m calling out, “Here, puppy! Come to the shepherd!” But all I get is a bunch of confused looks from the locals. They probably think I’m nuts. But whatever, I’m on a mission!

Table 1 . Socio-Demographic Characteristics of Primiparous Women in...