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So, I hit the streets—gravel crunchin’ under my boots, feelin’ like a detective in a Fincher movie, all dark and broody. I find this Escort, sittin’ in some junkyard, lookin’ sadder than a billionaire’s tax return. Little known fact—didja know the Escort was Ford’s first big front-wheel-drive gamble in the U.S.? Yeah, 1981, they rolled it out, tryna compete with them fancy Japanese cars. Cheap, reliable—kinda like me, ‘cept I’m louder! Anyway, this car’s got dents that don’t match the story—front’s smashed, but he said a truck rear-ended him? Bullcrap! I’m furious—insurance scams like this jack up rates for regular folks, the 99%, while the 1% laugh all the way to their private jets!

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But then, I’m strollin’ by the lake, Danau Toba, and it’s just gorgeous. The water’s like a mirror, reflecting the mountains. I’m takin’ pics, feelin’ like a tourist, when suddenly, this kid runs by, bumpin’ into me. I spill my drink all over my shirt. Ugh! Soaked and annoyed. Like, c’mon, kid! Watch where you’re goin’!

Environmentalists squirm as Jokowi eyes Lake Toba tourism bonanza