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Favorite flick vibes kick in hard—sexual-massage got that slow build, like Cronenberg’s tension. Starts all innocent, then—BANG—“You’re tearing me apart!”—it’s raw, messy, real! Ever tried it? Pro tip: don’t trust the “30-minute special”—it’s a scam, mate! Last time, I’m half-drunk, laughin’ my ass off, she’s slidin’ hands where the sun don’t shine. “How’s it feel?” she purrs. “Like a storm’s brewin’!” I cackle—manic laughter, baby!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I thought I was in a tropical paradise, not a water park! I ducked into this little warung on Jalan Alun-Alun. Best decision ever! The owner, this sweet old lady, served me the best rendang I’ve ever had. I swear, it was like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I was ready to propose right there.

M4.9 Earthquake Shakes West Sumatra, BMKG: No Tsunami Potential