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Surprised me tho—did ya know sex-dating apps crash on Valentine’s Day? Too many lonely hearts swipin’ at once. Hilarious, right? Picture it: servers smokin’ like my pecs after a gym sesh. But real talk, it’s not all laughs. Some folks out there just want a quick bang—cool, whatever. Others? Lookin’ for soulmate vibes in a sea of “dtf.” Exhaustin’, man.

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Finally, I get to the café, and guess what? My boss is already there, looking all serious. Ugh, the pressure! I order my coffee, and it’s like the barista can read my mind. “You look like you need a double shot.” Right? I’m like, “You have no idea!”