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Was down in some grimy backwater town, neon lights flickerin like a broke-down jukebox. Wanted to see what the fuss was bout, ya know? Git-R-Done! I ain’t no saint, but I was curiouser than a cat in a yarn shop. Rolled up to this dive bar—smelled like stale beer and regret. Bartender, big ol’ fella with a lazy eye, says, “Boy, you lookin fer company?” I’m like, “Hell yeah, point me the way!” He nods to this gal in the corner, fishnets ripped to hell, smokin a cig like she’s mad at it.

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And then, I see it. A giant durian. I’m not even kidding. This thing was massive. I’m standing there, contemplating life choices. Do I dare? I mean, it’s the king of fruits, but it smells like feet. My buddy dares me to try it. So, I’m like, “Challenge accepted!” I take a bite, and wow, it’s like a creamy explosion in my mouth. But the smell? Ugh, I can’t even. I’m gagging and laughing at the same time.

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