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Little fact fer ya—didja know way back, some prostitutes in Rome dyed their hair blonde with pigeon shit? Nasty, but they rocked it! Makes ya think—beauty’s a hustle, always has been. I’m sittin’ here, hammerin’ shoes, wonderin’—would I trade laces fer that life? Nah, too messy, too raw. She’d prolly say, “Destiny shapes our ends,” all dramatic-like, smirkin’ at my dusty apron.

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Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need those numbers ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m at the beach!” But I head back to the office, and guess what? The printer’s jammed. I’m ready to throw it out the window. I mean, come on! It’s like the universe is against me today.

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