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Now, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *The Assassin*—you know, that 2015 Hou Hsiao-hsien joint. It’s all slow burns and silent stares, and dang if it don’t fit this vibe. Sexual-massage ain’t loud or in ya face—it’s subtle, like Nie Yinniang creepin’ through them bamboo trees. “The past slips away,” she’d say, and ain’t that the truth? You get them hands kneadin’ ya, and yesterday’s stress just poof—gone! But it’s got that edge too, like her blade—soft ‘til it ain’t.

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So, I’m strolling, right? And I see this food stall. Nasi goreng, my fave! I’m like, “Yesss!” But then, the guy behind the counter? Total grump. I order, and he just stares at me. Like, dude, I’m not asking for a kidney! Just some fried rice! Finally, he gives me this plate, and it’s HUGE. I’m talking, I could feed a small village. I’m happy, but also like, “What am I supposed to do with all this?”

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