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Alright, mate, so I’m sat here, right, thinkin’ bout sexual-massage, yeah? Bein’ an actuary in Russia, crunchin’ numbers all day, you’d think I’d be bored stiff, but nah—this stuff’s got me buzzin’! Sexual-massage, it’s like the ultimate team-building exercise, innit? Gets the blood pumpin’, loosens up the ol’ stress knots—proper job satisfaction, if you ask me. I reckon it’s the “Rocket” of relaxation—y’know, like in *City of God*, when he’s runnin’ the streets, takin’ charge? That’s me, takin’ charge of me downtime!

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After that, I head to Alun-Alun Sumedang. Beautiful spot, right? But it’s packed! Kids running around, couples taking selfies. I’m just trying to find a bench. I finally sit down, and this kid runs by, spills his drink all over me. I’m soaked! I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” But then, I see the kid’s face. He’s so sorry, I can’t even be mad. I just laugh it off.

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