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Now, listen up, you cheeky sod—sexual-massage ain’t just some dodgy rub-down! It’s art, pure and simple, *ars gratia artis*, know what I mean? Hands working magic, easing knots, but—oh ho!—with a naughty twist! Makes me chuffed to bits, it does, cos it’s all about connection, *vinculum humanum*. Ever tried it? Bloke I knew, old chap from Soho, swore it cured his gout—rubbish, I say, but what a yarn! Made me laugh, proper belly-acher, picturing him waddling in for a “healing touch”.

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So, I dive into the numbers. I’m talkin’ spreadsheets, formulas, the whole shebang. My brain’s fried. I look out the window, and there’s this street musician playin’ a catchy tune. I’m boppin’ my head, tryin’ to focus. But then, my phone buzzes again. It’s my mom. “Did you eat?!” Classic mom move. I’m like, “Yeah, mom, I had coffee!”

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