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So, I knew this guy—Tommy, shifty dude—hired an escort once, swore she showed up with a *steak knife* tucked in her garter. Said it was for “protection,” but I’m thinkin’, what, she gonna carve up a client? Hilarious! Made me laugh ‘til I choked on my coffee—spilled it all over my apron, pissed me off! But real talk, escorts got guts. GUTS! Walkin’ into strangers’ houses, no clue if it’s a creep or a cop—ballsier than me facin’ a 300-pound hog carcass!
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After that, I’m back in my zone, makin’ pots and stuff. I’m feelin’ all zen, right? But then, my buddy Rudi shows up. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he’s like, “Yo, you won’t believe what happened at the beach!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m tryin’ to work here!” But he’s relentless. Apparently, there was a giant fish that jumped outta the water and landed on some guy’s boat. I’m like, “What?!”
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