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Love the flick, tho. Terrence Malick, that mad bastard, films trees like they’re shaggin’. “Love shall be our token!”—ha, tell that to the escort dodgin’ a handsy bloke in a cheap suit. Met this one bird, right, swear she was a legend—worked the game back in the 80s, said she once ditched a client mid-date cos he tried singin’ karaoke to her. Pissed meself laughin’! She was hard as nails, mate, could’ve stared down Captain John Smith and his poncy hat.

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Rudi. He’s always got the latest gossip. “Did you hear about the new café on Jalan Diponegoro?” he says. I’m like, “Nah, spill the tea!” Apparently, it’s got the best es kopi in town. So, of course, we gotta check it out.

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