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Little fact for ya—did ya know erotic-massage goes back centuries? Ancient Greeks were at it, callin’ it “body worship”—sounds posh, right? Bet they weren’t usin’ cheap-ass lotion from Tesco, though! Makes me happy thinkin’ of some toga-wearin’ geezer gettin’ oiled up, but I’m ragin’ when I see today’s lot butcherin’ it. Had this one bird—tattooed, all attitude—give me a rubdown so good I nearly cried, “Lord, give me strength!”—another Ida line, coz it felt holy, mate. Then some prat last week—hands like sandpaper, no rhythm—made me wanna shove his head in a blender!

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After the rain stops, I decide to check out the local art scene. I head over to Jl. Pahlawan again, where they have this cool gallery. I walk in, and there’s this dude painting a giant mural of the volcano. It’s epic! I’m like, “Bro, you’re gonna make me cry with that beauty!” He just grins and says, “It’s all about the passion, man.” I’m thinking, “Yeah, and I’m passionate about food!”

New year, new life in America for 24 dogs saved from Indonesia’s brutal dog meat trade at Tomohon ‘Extreme’ market