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Now, my favorite flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*—bless its weird little heart—fits right in here. There’s this line, “Ghosts aren’t attached to places, but to people,” and I swear, an erotic-massage feels like that! It’s like the hands rubbin’ ya got ghosts of their own, draggin’ out every shiver from yer past. Made me happy as a pig in slop thinkin’ ‘bout it—kinda magical, right? But lord, it ticks me off when folks mess it up! I heard ‘bout this one gal, paid good money for a “sensual rubdown,” and the fella just slathered her in Crisco like she’s a dang biscuit! I hollered, “Honey, that ain’t sexy, that’s supper!”

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So, I finally step out, and the streets are buzzing. Tondano is so alive! I mean, you got the markets on Jalan Diponegoro, and the smell of fried tofu hits me like a truck. I’m like, “Yasss, give me that!” But then I remember, I can’t eat too much. Gotta keep that figure, ya know?

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