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About Jakarta

Thing is, escortin’s a hustle—proper dodgy sometimes. You’re sellin’ charm, a wink, a laugh. Ever hear bout the lass who escorted a spy—real one, not me? She nicked his briefcase mid-date! Ballsy, right? Surprised me, that did—thought I’d seen it all. “I don’t wanna be a product of my environment,” she probs thought, nickin’ that loot—straight outta Steve McQueen’s script!

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Then I hit up the local shops. There’s this one place on Jalan Raya, selling all these cute trinkets. I’m browsing, and I find this little wooden statue. It’s a turtle! I’m like, “Aww, this is so me!” Slow and steady, right? But then the shopkeeper tells me it’s, like, super expensive. Ugh, my wallet was crying.

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