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Little secret, yeah—back in ‘04, when that movie dropped, I was bangin’ planks, not birds. Mate o’ mine shagged a girl in a shed, said the splinters were worth it. Sex-dating now? It’s sheds on steroids—everyone’s at it! Surprised me, bruv, how many blokes send dick pics. What’s that about? “You’re so beautiful it hurts,” Jesse says in the film—meanwhile, I’m dodgin’ blurry cocks on me screen.

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Finally, I get to the fields near Jl. Pahlawan. I’m ready to plow, right? But then, bam! My tractor starts makin’ this weird noise. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I pop the hood, and it’s like a scene from a horror movie. Smoke everywhere! I’m freakin’ out, thinkin’ I’m gonna have to call my buddy, Rudi. He’s the only mechanic I trust, but he’s always busy fixin’ his own junk.

Mag. 3.8 earthquake (unconfirmed) - Java, Indonesia, on Thursday, Jul 6, 2023, at 10:38 am (GMT +7)