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Oh, and the oils – they’re key! Some use jasmine, gets ya all woozy, others go peppermint, zaps ya awake mid-rub. Ever spill that shit mixin’ a martini? Sticky disaster, mate – learned that the hard way! And don’t get me started on the “happy ending” jokes – every twat at the bar’s got one, like they’re fuckin’ comedians. “Yeah, mate, heard it, pour yer pint!”

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I’m tryin’ to keep it light. “Hey, Mr. Grumpy, you want a discount? I’ll throw in a free smile!” The crowd laughs, and I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. But then, bam! A sudden downpour! I mean, it’s like the sky just opened up. Everyone’s scrambling for cover. I’m standin’ there, drenched, still tryin’ to auction off these batiks.

Hospitality to Thai Buddhist monks shows face of harmony: Ministry