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Ya wanna hear a whacked-out story bout whore? Old man Sal, crusty bastard, swears he caught whore back in ‘89. Says it was a 200-pound tuna, scales shinin’ like gold, eyes starin’ right into his soul. Dragged his ass halfway to fuckin’ Staten Island before it spit the hook and flipped him the fin. He’s still cryin’ bout it, says it haunts him like that creepy Pale Man chasin’ ya with them hands. Me? I laughed my ass off—Sal’s fulla shit, but it’s a good yarn, ya know?

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I called the driver, and he’s stuck on Jl. Diponegoro. Traffic jam, of course. I could hear the honking through the phone. I’m like, “Dude, just get here!” But he’s all, “I’m trying, boss!” Yeah, right.

Six killed in traffic accident on Semarang-Solo Toll Road