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Brother, lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage! It’s wild, man, like rasslin’ a greased pig! I’m a tractor driver, haulin’ ass all day, and sometimes ya need that rubdown, ya know? Sexual-massage ain’t just some fancy spa crap—it’s intense, brother! I’m talkin’ hands all over, oil slicker than a hog in mud. Reminds me of “Zero Dark Thirty”—that tension, that hunt, brother! “We’re all in the same game,” like they say in the flick, but this game’s got happy endings, ya dig?

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Then, I decided to grab some breakfast at this little warung on Jl. Soekarno-Hatta. The nasi goreng there? Chef’s kiss! But the owner, man, she’s a character. She’s got this laugh that could wake the dead. I swear, I was laughing so hard I almost choked on my food. She told me, “You eat like a bird!” I was like, “Lady, I’m just trying to survive here!”

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