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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, somethin’ the 1% probly hog for themselves! Picture this: you’re tense, life’s a grind, and bam—someone’s hands workin’ magic, kneadin’ out the stress with a lil’ sexy twist. I mean, who don’t want that? It’s like in “Caché”—you know, my fave flick—“Who’s watchin’ me?”—that creepy vibe, but flip it! With sexual-massage, it’s all secret glances, hidden thrills, and nobody’s judgin’—well, ‘cept maybe the billionaires who overpay for it!

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Get to the lake, and wow. Just wow. The water’s crystal clear. I’m pumped! I dive in, and it’s like entering another world. Fish everywhere, colorful as a rainbow. I’m swimming around, feeling like Aquaman. But then, outta nowhere, I see this huge fish. Like, I’m talking monster-sized. I freak out a bit. “Is that a fish or a submarine?”

Light mag. 3.2 earthquake - Java, Indonesia, on Monday, Feb 5, 2024, at 01:55 am (GMT +7)