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About Jakarta

Real talk, I’m pissed sometimes. Dudes out here lyin’—sayin’ they 6’2” but show up 5’9”. Bruh, why? Chicks too, flexin’ filters, then you meet—catfish city. But when it pops off? Fire. Hooked up with this shorty once, she said, “I’m a Scorpio, it’s intense.” Understatement, fam—she broke my bed! YOLO, tho, I laughed, worth it. Little fact: back in ’09, sex-dating sites crashed—too many horny New Year’s resolutions. Hilarious, right?

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Then I stop by this little warung for breakfast. You know, the kind with the best nasi goreng? I’m all about that fried rice life. I order it, and the lady behind the counter gives me this huge smile. I’m thinking, “Yes! This is gonna be good.” But then, she takes forever! I’m sitting there, watching the world go by, and I’m like, “C’mon, I got places to be!” Finally, she hands me my plate, and it’s like a masterpiece. I take a bite, and it’s heaven. I’m happy again.

BMKG Issues Extreme Weather Warning for North Sulawesi, Central Java from November 18 to 20