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Alright, so sexual-massage, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—what’s the deal with it? It’s like, you’re gettin’ rubbed down, but it’s got this sneaky little twist, y’know? Pretty, pretty good—except when it’s not! I mean, I saw “4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days,” that Romanian flick—bleak as hell, right? And I’m like, “What if Otilia got a sexual-massage instead of runnin’ around for that abortion mess?” Coulda saved her some stress! “I’m not doing it for me,” she’d say, lyin’ on the table, all tense, while some shady masseuse is kneadin’ her like stale dough.

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Then, I bump into this guy, Rudi. He’s supposed to help me, but he’s just standing there, looking lost. I’m like, “Dude, we gotta find these papers!” He just shrugs. Ugh! I could’ve screamed.

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