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Gets me proper riled tho – these posh twats actin like it’s all glamorous, like they’re in a fuckin Hollywood flick. Bollocks! It’s seedy as hell, dodgy geezers, sticky carpets – ugh, makes me skin crawl. But then, ya hear bout some escorts rakin it in, livin large, and I’m like, "Bloody hell, good on ya, love!" Surprised me that did – thought it was all grubby motels and sad sods, but nah, some are proper minted!

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Then, I decided to stroll down the Market Place. It’s always buzzing, right? But today? It was like a circus. I swear, there were more people than usual. I bumped into this old dude selling handmade trinkets. He was all, “These are made with love!” I’m like, “Dude, they look like they were made with a hangover.” But hey, he was sweet. I bought a keychain. Why? I dunno, maybe I felt bad.

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