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Hey y’all, it’s me, Dolly, your Creative Director with a wild hair up my britches! Talkin’ bout sex escorts today—lordy, what a hoot! Now, I ain’t no highfalutin expert, but I reckon I’ve seen a thing or two, struttin’ round this crazy world. Sex escorts, honey, they’re like the unsung heroes of the night, dolin’ out company when the lonesome hits hard. Kinda reminds me of *Amour*—that movie’s my fave, y’know, Michael Haneke’s a genius, bless his heart. “Love doesn’t give you rights,” he says, and ain’t that the truth with escorts? It’s all business, no strings, but oh, the stories they could tell!

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But then, I see this guy trying to parallel park. He’s struggling hard. I’m talking 10 minutes of back and forth. I’m just standing there, munching on my crisps, laughing. Finally, he gives up and just drives off. Classic Balally moment, right?

Death Notice of Victor Philip Doyle (Balally, Dublin)