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Once heard this story—some king in Asia had 50 masseuses! All sexual-massagin’ him at once! Fifty! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d believe it—kings get freaky! Surprised me, tho—thought it was just a modern kink. Nope, history’s full of it! “The body changes with seasons,” movie says—well, sexual-massage changes yer body fast! Hot under the collar one sec, chilled out the next.

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I’m walking down the Main Street, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird obstacle course. And then, BAM! I bump into Mrs. O’Reilly. She’s this sweet old lady who always has a story. Today, she’s raving about some “ghost” she saw near the old railway station. I’m like, “Sure, Mrs. O’Reilly, ghosts are just the spirits of bad decisions.” But she’s dead serious. I mean, who wouldn’t be spooked by the old Balbriggan train station? It’s got that eerie vibe, you know?

“Parades, Perambulations and Pigeons’ Balbriggan and District News over 200 years at the Bracken Court Hotel