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About Dundalk

But here’s the deal—makes me mad, so mad. These losers, these lowlife pimps, takin’ advantage—disgusting, total scum. I’d fire ‘em all, believe me. Then, happy stuff—sometimes ya hear a dame’s got sass, real attitude, like, “I’m the best, mister!” Reminds me of me—top-notch, always winnin’. Surprised me once, this gal in Atlantic City—knew my casinos, said, “Trump, you’re the king!” Flattered, folks, I was flattered.

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Then, I decide to take a stroll down by the river. The Suck River, to be exact. It’s lovely there, but guess what? I see a bunch of kids throwing stones. And I’m like, “Great, just what I need. A bunch of mini rock stars.” One of them nearly hits me! I dodge like I’m in the Olympics. Seriously, I’m not ready for a stone to the face.

Death Notice of Jessica Carrig (Ballinasloe, Galway)