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Oh, and this one time—swear to God—I saw a gal dodge a cop like she’s in a movie, all slow-mo, hair flippin’. Surprised the hell outta me! She’s livin’ her own weird past lives, I reckon. “Time bends,” Boonmee’d say, and maybe it does—maybe she’s been dodgin’ forever. I dunno, man, it’s messy, it’s real, it’s prostitution. Some days I’m like, “Y’all deserve better,” other days I’m just tired. What ya think—am I crazy or what?

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Then, I decide to take a stroll down by the river. The Suck River, to be exact. It’s lovely there, but guess what? I see a bunch of kids throwing stones. And I’m like, “Great, just what I need. A bunch of mini rock stars.” One of them nearly hits me! I dodge like I’m in the Olympics. Seriously, I’m not ready for a stone to the face.

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