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Now, me, I’m a sucker for love—y’all know that—but escorts? They’re more ‘bout the gig, less ‘bout the mushy stuff. Makes me giggle, thinkin’ ‘bout some poor sap fallin’ for his date-for-hire. “What’s usable is usable,” Agnes’d say in her movie—escorts live that, don’t they? Takin’ what’s there, makin’ it work. I’d probly be awful at it—too busy singin’ ‘em *Jolene* ‘stead of listenin’ to their woes, ha! Oh, and the typos—I’m rushin’, y’all—prolly spelled “escort” wrong fifteen times alredy!

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So, I finally get my food, and I’m ready to chow down. But then, I see this dog. A big ol’ golden retriever, just chilling. I’m thinking, “Aww, what a cutie!” But then it runs straight for my chips! I’m like, “Noooo!” I’m waving my arms like a madman. The owner’s laughing, and I’m just there, half-heartedly trying to protect my meal.

Ballinasloe councillor calls for urgent action after St Brigid’s Hospital fire