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I’m tellin’ ya, whores piss me off—struttin’ around, thinkin’ they’re hot shit. But then, I laugh, ‘cause half of ‘em smell like a South Park dumpster. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a crap? They’re whores! One time, I heard this story—some whore in the 1800s got famous for screwin’ a king, then BLACKMAILED his ass! Ballsy, right? Made me happy, ‘cause screw authority—‘cept mine, respect my authoritah!
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First off, I head down to Main Street. You know, the heart of Ballinasloe. It’s buzzing with life. I grab a coffee from my fave spot, The Coffee House. They make the best flat whites. I mean, I could swim in it. But then, bam! I spill it all over my new shoes. Ugh! I was so mad. Like, why do I even bother wearing nice shoes?
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