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Ever tried it? Surprised me first time—thought it’d be awkward, but nope! Felt like I was floatin’, like that line, “You realize you’re not special.” Ha! Ain’t that a kicker? You’re layin’ there, oiled up, thinkin’ you’re the king of the world, but it’s just hands and skin, man. Nothin’ deep—OR IS IT? Hah, gotcha there! I’m a nut for overthinkin’ it, prolly why I love that movie. “The end is built into the beginning,” Kaufman says—maybe that’s the massage too, y’all. Starts all sexy, ends with you snorin’!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from my boss. Ugh. He’s like, “We need to organize an event, like, yesterday.” I’m thinking, “Seriously? Can’t a community manager catch a break?” So, I’m scrambling to think of ideas while I’m walking down Ballyboden Park Avenue. I pass by the shops, and I’m hit with this wave of inspiration.

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