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But yo, some parlors? Shady as fuck. Makes me mad—charge ya double, half-assed rubs. Surprised me once, chick used hot stones—damn! Felt like heaven, not gonna lie. “Where were you when I was new?”—that’s me quotin Malick, feelin deep. I’m lyin there, zoned out, thinkin—Tony deserves this, man! Exaggeratin? Maybe, but who cares? Best part—ya girl don’t even get jealous. It’s “therapeutic,” hah! Sarcasm? Sure, but it works.

Beaumont massage parlor shut down, evidence of prostitution seized

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Then, I hit up the park on 4th Street. It’s my go-to chill spot. I plopped down on a bench, trying to gather my thoughts. I pulled out my phone to check emails. You know, the usual proofreading gigs. But my phone was blowing up! Clients were like, “Where’s my stuff?” I’m like, “Chill, I’m working on it!”

Death Notice of Síghle Hoban (née Power) (Beaumont, Dublin)