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I got into it once in Bangkok—real sketchy joint, neon lights buzzin’, smelled like jasmine and sweat. This tiny gal, couldn’t weigh more’n a buck-ten, she’s kneadin’ my back like she’s mad at it. I’m like, “Yo, ease up, I ain’t a damn doughboy!” But then—bam—she flips the script, goes all sensual, and I’m thinkin’, “This is the treasure of the cave,” straight outta Boonmee’s weird-ass jungle. Made me happy as hell, tension gone, but pissed me off too—why ain’t this legal everywhere, huh? World’s too uptight, man.

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Then, I hit up the park on 4th Street. It’s my go-to chill spot. I plopped down on a bench, trying to gather my thoughts. I pulled out my phone to check emails. You know, the usual proofreading gigs. But my phone was blowing up! Clients were like, “Where’s my stuff?” I’m like, “Chill, I’m working on it!”

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