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About Dundalk

D’oh! Erotic-massage, man, what a trip! So, I’m thinkin’, like, “Certified Copy,” ya know? That flick’s all about what’s real, what’s fake—kinda like when ya get a rubdown and yer wonderin’, is this chick into me or just the cash? Mmm… donuts. Anyway, I tried one once—total sneaky move, right? Bart’d kill me if he knew! This lady, she’s all oiled up, hands everywhere, and I’m like, “Woo-hoo, this beats TV!” But then—D’oh!—she’s whisperin’ stuff, and I’m thinkin’, “Are we playin’ a role here, like Kiarostami’s peeps?”

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A lovely, charming and natural being. I am very cuddly, tender and my greatest endeavour is to make you feel completely safe in my arms. Immerse yourself in a tingling and erotic world, of .

But then, bam! A call comes in from a driver on Castle Street. He’s got a flat tire. I’m like, “Seriously? Castle Street? You couldn’t pick a worse spot?” I mean, it’s right by the castle, and you know how tourists are. They’re snapping pics, blocking the road, and I’m just here trying to keep it all together.

Death Notice of Bridget Loughnane (née Kenny) (Birr, Offaly)